1000 Ducks Delivered

Incident report 1147 Board meeting transcript. This is a transcript detailing the executive board meeting which aims to propose a permanent solution to issues brought up in incident report 1147. It has been duly noted that due to the inherent risks connected to the new ‘Ditsy Duck’ product, all units are to be prohibited from shipping out to end users and retail stores. The apparent risks to the long term image of Dafty Toys Inc prove to be greater than the potential increase in profits. Notable risks include, rated by severity. 1. - Government fines (Negligible)

2. - Injury & loss of company personnel & third party employees. (Mild)

3. - Loss of products due to consumer theft. (Mild)

4. - Damage of production equipment & transportation. (Moderate)

5. - Settlements to reimburse clients for damage & trauma. (Moderate)

6. - Negative publicity ultimately leading to a decrease in customer sales. (Severe) Issues summarized from report 1147

This is why we run test lines for new products. Even with such an unfortunately promising product. The novelty of a duck that moves and plays without needing sustenance, battery power, expensive components. Whilst still retaining that telltale rubber ducky shape & texture Dafty Toys Inc is famous for. Regrettably, it appears that the spirits of passed ducks appear to be especially vengeful and powerful in larger numbers. Whilst smaller batches showed exciting results, manifestations of greater evil quickly became too much to handle. However, fortunately, we’ve only lost our current night-shift and were able to dispose of every single faulty duck before they managed to ship. But in an equal stroke of bad luck, it seems a pet mouse which formerly belonged to the now passed employee. ‘Douglas mckentail’ Has gained greater sentience, and has stated malevolent intent, copying our ‘Ditsy Ducks’. After which the little bugger escaped. We can’t determine the source, but new faulty ducks keep on appearing on the conveyor belt anyways. The factory should be shut down until they are dealt with. Following transcript describes the final solution to be accepted. The factory is to be kept running. Further loss of personnel is acceptable, the possibility of more information about the incident leaking out, and lower profits is not. Expensive automation is to be installed immediately in order to operate with as small of a staff as possible to minimize further risks. Machines lack souls, they can’t seem to tell the difference between an evil duck, and a normal one anyways. A point system is to be instigated. We cannot risk shipping too many bad ones, there’s only so much tragedy that can be covered up. If an employee misses too many ducks, they are to be terminated immediately.