EPISTLE 3

a FULL adaptation of the text of Epistle 3, believed to be the synopsis to the unreleased game Half Life 3, from a person who has never finished a Half Life game.

"shloud not even exist" -- dommy9111

FEATURES:

• weird funerals
• a gun that can shoot everything
• this weird heartbeat sound in your left ear
• Combine soldiers
• dissociation
• the BREENGRUB
• gross misunderstandings of lore
• THAT SNEERING TRICKSTER, G-MAN

AS SEEN ON WAYPOINT I FUCKIN GUESS HOT DAMN
ALSO AS SEEN ON KOTAKU??? WHAT THE HELL
AND, FUCKIN, IGN I GUESS???????
"EPISTLE 3 has [...] infinite value." -- GIANT BOMB GOTY?????????