Pantomime (itch)

You are Raif, born and raised in Syracuse, but now you're here in 2044, outside the Kangaroo's Midnight Gentleman's Club on Phobos, carrying a red keycard. You cut into the waiting line to stand with your pal, a sentient vacuum cleaner called Mr Chmod. By "outside", you mean under the life bubble where there's wholesome oxygen, but no freaking sunlight. You oversleep a lot.

Because Phobos will break up into rubble within months, everyone in the colony is evacuating, and in honor of the occassion, the club has got a clone of president William Howard Taft to make a speech. Cloning has gone mainstream, and this is the social event of the year. You don't want to miss it.