Translated by
Microsoft from Russian
Microsoft from Russian
New Game and new heights in the creative work of BadDoge – creator of Yellow: The Yellow Artifact. And Let the heights of these go not up, but down, but in our upside-down world, where commercial success is achieved by cheap, made on the knee of the divide, and truly worthy products simply fail to dive out of the ocean feces, it is absolutely not important.
STARUSHKO LUB is a redesigned version of the same game that was not able to pass Greenlight and was removed from it by the developer who promised to return it when it becomes better. The Most vivid memory of the original version is its description, [imgur.com] promised "crazy bullet-hell game". So Frogger no one called yet. The Name of the game shows the level of language proficiency of the developers who do not know that "Staroshshlyub" should be written in a merged (for example, Booklub) [dic.academic.ru].
The Game is divided into four, sorry, mini-games and meets the player tearing the eardrum, sorry again, music. The First is the original STARUSHKO LUB, which would be ordinary clone of Frogger, if not for one small detail: Broken hitboxes, which became the business card of the developer. Because Of the need to constantly press the move button the speed with which the old ladies cross the road, greatly slows down. Crooked hitboxes will cut your life even in seemingly safe places, and cars happily knock off the right old lady, while with the left nothing happens. So How do the old ladies survive and cross the road? Just go beyond the screen, and then just get on the finish line! Perhaps that was the intention.
The Essence of the second mini-game was to be to solve simple mathematical problems, but even here growing not from that place hands could make it so that after the first task could not move further. Or is it also a subtle joke, talking about the impossibility of the modern generation to solve something more difficult 2 + 2?
And the third... This is an unfunny parody to the sensational Undertale with the text in Albanian. Yes, it is on the very same with his "Afftarami" and "Yadom", former popular in the Runet at the beginning of the zero, when the developers of this creation still walking under the table went. This is by the way the only text with Cyrillic in the game. I can not imagine what will feel the unaware language of the person at the sight of such. The game Itself consists of the base sprites RPG Maker, three buttons during the battle, two of which do nothing, and a hero who can only with the effect of sliding on the ice to repel any obstacle. And at the exit she proudly announces the completion of the mission.
The Latter represents the HD version of the very first game, forcing the player to return to the beginning with thoughts about the recurrence of what is happening. Still like the proverbial engraver, right? More resolution, more detail... MORE HITBOXES. If The original game is still possible to pass honestly, then its HD-remake just out of the screen. At defeat the screen starts flashing bright red, and at standing next to the advertising column with a seal there appear also flashing satanic asterisk and three sixes that without jokes can cause epileptic seizures.
What is left in this creation? An Editor that allows you to create your own version of STARUSHKO LUB with your own sprites. Which, of course, does not work. Unexpectedly?
STARUSHKO LUB is the quintessence of all the bad games on Steam and the worst game I've ever seen, once again stressing Greenlight's failure.
In the trailer on the game page, the developer offers the buyers to fix this game, to which I have a single question: Afftar, and yadu do not want to drink?
P. S Here [imgur.com] You the only achievement that give for the launch of the game.