Statik achievements

You humiliated a machine in record time. Well done.

You elevated yourself above the filth and took us literally. Bravo!

What did you think you'd achieve calling for help? Help?

You learned the true value of CCTV voyeurism

You picked up on all sorts of signals and exploited them

You took an out-of-body experience, and spent it in a toy car

You found the hidden depths in 4 lines of meaningless verse

You won the battle against a simple piece of technology.

You've seen this one before haven't you. Come on, be honest!

You liked the trophy. We thought you might like to keep it.

You signed the contract. Now there's a paper trail at least.

You solved the first puzzle. Pride is not the word.