The Protest Vote

Hello world, we are Balloon Co. [gaming division] and YOU should vote for our game EVEN IF YOU NEVER PLAY IT!  (It’s a short game though, so you can play it too).  Why vote for a game you haven’t played?  Well, read below to find out why you should vote for The Protest Vote!

(Oh, and judges, there’s nothing important for you here, so you can just play our game quick and move on to the next one.  Thanks!)

Ok-everybody-who-isn’t-a-judge, here is the scoop de scoop: we at Balloon Co [gaming division] are old herb and pepper seasoned competitors of this here game making contest.  But, while in the past we were distracted competing with other game creators, we ignored our true competition: the marionette/puppet masters who keep us all in line:  the Pupnetteteers!

No longer will we dance for their enjoyment! (Even though we were REALLY GOOD AT DANCING!) Today starts a new day, where Balloon Co. [gaming division] fights not for its own benefit, but for the common people.  And not just the common people, but we will fight for the uncommon people, the mystic people, AND the mystic-foil people! With this game, we hope to bring nothing less than a revolution to the indie game contest community!

Why do we place our creativity under a yoke for the contest runners?  What have they done to deserve our obedience?  We remember the first contest in 2014: a contest that also had laws handed down from above.  And yet, did the rulers who ruled over this contest bind themselves to the same standard we poor small game developers did?  Nay, nay we say!  And also no!  For hark, they promised that the contest would conclude months before it ended up ending!  They had the nerve to attempt to excuse this sin by saying “We had more entries than we expected.”  BUT, do you think they would have mercy on your soul if you broke one of their rules and had a perfectly good excuse, unlike their imperfectly banal pretense?

That is not a rhetorical question, even though it looks exactly like a rhetorical question!  For we at Balloon Co. [gaming division] have answered it for you!  During the 2015 contest, a sweet little Balloon Co. artist found some open sourced artwork online and modified it for our game, thinking not that they had done anything to anger the contest gods/goddesses/deities.  Our lawyers even gave our games two thumbs up before we submitted our game, and we NEVER get two thumbs up from them!  (We usually get a lot of thumbs sideways, down, and thumb inside the palm because it’s clenched in a fist).  When we got our contest results, we were gobsmacked at the score of 0 we got.  Not even 0/10, just 0!  Then, we were bauldergobsmacked when the only note given was “Unfortunately, the use of rips disqualifies this entry from the competition.”

Now we at Balloon Co. [gaming division] were inraged AND outraged!  We had become criminals!  But we have a saying at Balloon Co. [gaming division]: “When corporations give you lemons, make a broth that uses its acidic property to cure warts!”  And while we don’t have any literal lemons (and thus have lots of literal warts), we realized we can’t be the only inandoutraged game creators out there.  So, we decided that, since we’re hard boiled criminals, we should do our best to help out you sunny side up game creators!

So, has this corporation ever done anything rage worthy to you?  Then VOTE FOR OUR GAME IN PROTEST: THE PROTEST VOTE!  Has this corporation ever disappointed you?  Then VOTE FOR OUR GAME!  Have you been treated well by this contest?  Well, we’re warning you, it’s only a matter of time.  Absolutely, absolute power absolutely corrupts absolutely, absolutely!  We need checks and balances!  We need contest power in the hands of the game developers! If you are treated well, it is still completely at the mercy of a corporation hungry for money, and that good will could be withdrawn at any moment!  Hark, notice over the years the generosity slipping away: last contest, any game engine could be used, but this year they are banished unless they bare the branding of RPG maker!

We need a world reborn, we need a revolution!  And every revolution needs a protest for the people!  And there is no better superhero to send against a greedy soulless corporate villain than your friendly neighborhood buddies at the Balloon Company [gaming division] corporation!  Those judges don’t want us to win, but we don’t need their 7/10s.  All we need is your support.  We must put pressure so that the next contest allows more freedom!

Are you happy with limitations on art?  We’re not.  We want games with 18+ content, like filing taxes!  We are missing out on much needed educational games on how to survive in the world once your age levels up past an arbitrary number!  We want games that provoke the upper class!  We want games independent from corporate interest.  You know, INDIE GAMES!

When the beating of your heart echoes the beating of 8-bit drums, it is the music of the game creators who will not be pupnettes again!  With your support, we can fight for truly indie games by winning the people choice award and sending a message to those CEOs in their skyscrapers looking down on us, trying to extract dollars out of us rather than being wowed by our art!

Oh, speaking of CEOs, please don’t tell our CEOs at Balloon Co. [management division] we are doing this.  This is one of those “our lawyers put their thumbs so down they are buried in the dirt floor” kind of decisions and we could get in big trouble if they found out.  Thanks for your secrecy!