Eldrazi Dating Sim

This is the description section of my game page. It's a bit of an interesting one. You see, nearly the entire experience of this game can be effectively conveyed purely through the title of the game. Because of that, if you've already read the title and still haven't been convinced to download this game, then nothing I say here in the description will be able to change that.

So instead I'd like to take this space to tell you a little story:

Our story begins as most anime plots do, with Nolan (that's me) in the mythical land of high school. He's playing a game of EDH unsleeved on the blacktop during break and gets smacked in the face by an attacking Ulamog, the Ceaseless Hunger. Not a pretty moment, but you reap what you sow when you're piloting Morophon's Homarid tribal. Regardless, after losing 1/4th of his life total, Nolan picks up Ulamog and notices something he's never noticed before. Maybe it was the raging teenage hormones, maybe it was the 5lb brick of ketamine he injected into his circulatory system that morning. But Nolan looks at Ulamog and says to his three opponents:
"Damn, Ulamog kinda hot ngl"

That night Nolan went home and started searching up as much Eldrazi R34 art as he could find. And after several pages deep into the dark web, he found a Twitter post by one @Diosboss. At a glance, it was a dream come true. But upon further inspection, Nolan discovered that this post was nearly six years old, and an Eldrazi Dating Simulator had yet to be made. Could it be that Diogo only drew concept art and never had the intention of making an actual dating sim? Heresy. Blasphemous. So Nolan took it upon himself to write his own Eldrazi Dating Simulator, exonerating Diogo of their crimes. Just as Jesus died for our sins, so did Nolan sacrifice his sanity to create this monstrosity.
(no seriously, my sanity is in shambles, i'm writing this itch page instead of studying for the cs midterm i have tomorrow)

Anyways, that's your story, hope you enjoyed it. If you're reading this Diogo, I definitely yoinked a bit of your art so if you want royalties or smth just hmu. I would've commissioned professional art for this but I'm a broke college student so you'll just have to endure with my crayon scribbles (it adds to the charm).

And a small collection of disclaimers for y'all :)

Eldrazi Dating Sim is unofficial Fan Content permitted under the Fan Content Policy. Not approved/endorsed by Wizards. Portions of the materials used are property of Wizards of the Coast. ©Wizards of the Coast LLC.

Mature content. Nothing explicit, but there's profanity and Ulamog inserts a baguette into your asshole.

Skipping sometimes puts character sprites in the wrong position, idk it's a Ren'Py problem not me so have fun with that one.