Prose Platformer

This game is only for those who have spare time and don't react negatively to rage games. JK, I know for a fact I'm the only person who fits that criteria. 

Well. Look who thinks they're ready to play. (Spoiler: you aren't) But maybe you could, by some slim chance, not irreparably mess everything up. Just follow the rules, and don't break your computer. (PS: if you do, we're not responsible)