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Jalopy review
by Tramandai

Prepare for pain. If you think, “well, the game is easy, I can run it through” - no, you can’t. Nobody can. Every simple action in Jalopy turns into your darkest nightmare. The game doesn’t let you do anything quickly or at least normally; each movement consists of several other movements and it feels like hell. Obstacles are waiting for you even when you try to pick more than three items. Spoilers! You’ll fail. Jalopy is of that sort of games where you accept bugs as a part of the gameplay. Wait, it isn’t OK? Tell about it the developers.

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Translated by
Microsoft from Deutsch
Product received for free Early Access Review joke game .. And I'm not saying that because I'm OSSI:D Vehicle Control: Is more Luck than anything else (Spongy) Puddles (Aquaplaning), Oil Tracks and Potholes ... Or molehills? :D No matter what ... Avoid driving over there to Die Fahrt enough Fuel and Oil for the Mixing with you (jaaa you drive a 2 Clock), because this is jerk zuck empty world generates randomly, so you can drive virtually without End. The Trabant 601 (Laika 601) Engine sound: Well, it could be better to be a little annoying Looped but that's half as wild. Survival: You are constantly trying to keep the Car in shot. Engine wants to be refuelled and serviced, because the motor is made of Plastic, which after 10 Meters starts to melt xD Because of the Heat development (It breaks quickly and you Should buy enough Repairkits). Accidents should be avoided if possible, which is not so easy when Controlling the ship. Handling: As Mentioned above ... It is believed easier to slide a Boat across the Road graphic What is this supposed to represent? Cartoon? Oil-painted style? It's like I find .. Completely ok and in its own way and wise ... Pretty.. ^^ Short and concise ... Even though I've listed a few negative Points, the Game is worth playing. :)
Translated by
Microsoft from Deutsch
Did even one person got the game to the end without a Game breaking bug? I now played for a while and everytime it went to hell. I glitched into a fence and was stuck with 156 DM in my wallet, a full working car and a trunk full of stuff worth to sell for around 150 dm again. After doing the only thing possible, going home, everything was out of nowhere worthless. 0 DM. My wallet was empty and even the uncle said something like "cause your broke, this will help" and gave me some money. WHY? And thats not the only time! I was falling down endless, stuck in a gas station, a fance of the gas station not opening again after paying, items vanishing, cars crashing into mine and sending it out of the map, the uncle not working and all such stuff. I tried it around 10 times and didnt even get once near the finish line! Damn, i think its more easy to buy your own Traba... sorry, Laika? and drive the same road! Most could be fixed with a button like "Put back on the road" or "Get back on the road" or "Rewind 5 Minutes". Or even giving it a Easy Mode like "Doesnt destroy parts and will not blow up the damn engine every few minutes". Okay, now im done. I will try it again after a while if something new comes but till then i cant say its save to buy this game. Do you know whats the worst about it? I somehow like the game. It has potential, interesting parts and i would like to see it working!
Bugs, bugs, bugs. Is anybody going to fix them? I don’t think so. All that short moments of fun or “OK moments” when you don’t want to die are completely ruined by bugs. Maybe this game was made for you to ask the questions like “Why is this crap happening to me?” or “Why didn’t I buy another game?” But I bet that it’s a trap game where everything is burning. And you’re burning. And you can’t leave the town. And NPCs are turning into spaghetti near the gas station. Welcome to Jalopy! Have fun!