Democracy 4 achievements

Is anybody actually doing any work in this country? It seems like strikers are holding placards on every street corner these days, presumably the placard workers are ironically working overtime.

Fear not citizen! The streets are safe and the state will protect you, because you are living in one of the most law abiding and law-enforcing nations on earth, with a police car, bike, drone and indeed officer on every street corner!

If you can judge a society by what they eat, then our society is green, healthy, organic, full of vitamins and extremely well labelled with very low food miles. It doesn't really work as a metaphor for a country to be honest...

You can never really trust a person who doesn’t absolutely LOVE guns. We now have more guns in the country than we do dogs, cats, people and birds combined. We finally did it. We are NUMBER ONE IN GUNS. Go team!

Obviously if Karl Marx was alive today, he would be congratulating you not only on your contributions towards socialism but also your plans to export socialism to the stars! We look forward to the first socialist republics on the moon and mars!

Take a moment to go look up the definition of personality and you will find its just a picture of YOU! Strong as a leader, compassionate and viewed as trustworthy, the peoples admiration for you is absolute!

If it moves, tax it! That’s been your creed recently. Are you trying to get some sort of special prize for complicating the tax code? If you are, consider this to be it. Congratulations!

Are you quite sure you aren't some super-hero in disguise? Or is that bullet-proof underwear we hear so much about? Either way, its astonishing how many times an assassin's bullet has failed to achieve its objective.

Lets be honest, we have all made a total mess of our lives, but we can pretend its because we were all doing it for the next generation! Will they thank us for the sacrifices we make for them? Spoiler: No.

These days its hard to hear yourself think over the patting on the back and clapping and shaking of hands with diplomats. Our country is at the nexus of international agreement, and has a reputation second to none.

To lose one minister would seem unfortunate. To lose this many in a single career would seem to be worthy of astonishment, pity, surprise and probably an in-game achievement of some sort.

People these days are using terms like 'technocracy' to describe your incredible efforts to build a super educated population. Its truly laudable, meritorious, creditable and probably lots of other long words.